At My Whit’s End: James Dobson’s Cinematic Universe of Kid Punching
“Heh, you fool,” Dobson chuckled.
(Photo: Cover of Emotions: Can You Trust Them?, Bantam Books, 1982)
“I have to go back to where it all started. James Dobson and Focus on the Family.”
-Source: Me from the last blog entry.
Oh, Shamus, you sweet, innocent, ungodly fool. You thought summing up James Dobson and Focus on the Family was going to be simple, didn’t you?
Researching James Dobson is to stare into a dark chasm. Just when you think you can see the bottom you discover there is only more darkness. A darkness made up of witty stories about the nicest ways to beat your kids. When I began my research into Dobson I looked into that chasm.
I nearly lost myself to eternal madness.
So to keep this post brief, and my sanity intact, I’m forcing myself to stick only to what’s relevant about Dobson and Focus on the Family when it comes to the creation of Adventures in Odyssey. And the place to begin is the moment of (immaculate?) conception for the franchise.
Helen’s Buggy, a story Dobson would read every year during the Focus on the Family Christmas radio broadcast. A bog-standard “something semi-magical occurs on Christmas” that’s best summed up by its ending.
“On our way home, downtown Los Angeles wasn’t just a busy city crowded with Christmas shoppers. It was a beautiful world where adults treated children like people. It was a Christmas world as we began to understand the joy of giving, the joy of receiving.”
-“A Christmas World” by Bergen Birdsall.
Sure, this doesn’t sound too different from other Christmas classics but it takes on a new relevance when you learn that Dobson rose to prominence in 1970 thanks to writing Dare to Discipline. AKA the book that advocates beating your kids is good, actually.
Dare to Discipline is a nightmare. Dobson, a then associate clinical professor of pediatrics and part of the Division of Medical Genetics at the Children Hospital of Los Angeles, dismisses such revolutionary ideas that you should try and understand your children. Instead he, basically, advocates a “if kids fuck around? You as a parent will make them find out.”
Here are some pearls of wisdom Dobson is way too delighted to share.
“When a youngster tries this kind of stiff-necked rebellion, you had better take it out of him, and pain is a marvelous purifier.” ¹
“The parent must convince himself that punishment is not something he does to the child; it is something he does for the child. His attitude towards his disobedient youngster is this, "I love you too much to behave like that." ²
“The proper time to begin disarming the teenage time-bomb is twelve years before it arrives.” ³
That last quote in particular enraged me to the point that the only way I could soothe myself was picturing Dobson landing in the same level of hell Ronald Reagan’s in. Dobson’s advocating beating your kids at an extremely young age to prevent them from POSSIBLY doing FUTURE CRIMES. Hilariously I read this quote the same day I watched the Star Trek: Voyager episode Relativity and both are kind of based on the same idea. (Remember, I did say AIO was kind of like a Christian Star Trek.)
In it a time cop is automatically declared guilty for a crime his FUTURE SELF will commit, even though he hasn’t even CONSIDERED doing the crime yet. The mere possibility he’ll do a crime is enough to treat him as guilty. However, in Voyager the time police seemed to only arrest past selves if the future selves FOR SURE committed a time crime, meaning it’s not a Minority Report situation. Flimsy as it may be, at least these fictional time cops had a reason for what they were doing.
WHAT’S YOUR REASON, DOBSON?! You don’t know a kid is going to turn out terrible! What’s your reason for claiming beating kids will make them better people in the long run?
Spoiler, as a child, Dobson “sassed” his mother and she would “crack” him with a shoe, handy belt, or at one point a heavy girdle adorned with straps and buckles that gave him “an entire thrashing with one massive blow!” ⁴
I’m sure this story is unrelated and totally not Dobson justifying the horrific abuse he suffered. Yep. Totally.
"All according to keikaku*." - James Dobson (*Translator's Note: Keikaku means "beat your kids.")
(Photo: Back Cover of Dr. Dobson Answers Your Questions About Confident Healthy Families, Tyndale House Publishers, 1982)
(I feel the need to clearly state that beating your kids DOES. NOT. WORK. EVER. And yes, there is research to prove it. tl;dr beating your kids is just going to make them more defiant and aggressive in the future, along with a huge list of long-term psychological damage. Don’t beat your kids. Just don’t!!!)
Dobson’s weirdly gleeful when he talks about pain, listing out specific places on the body that will cause the right amount of it. He tells a surreal “true” story where he stops a gang of kid troublemakers by physically assaulting one of them. He claims it was just grasping a kids’ shoulders but given his sadistic tendencies, I’ll call it assault. The story ends with the police thanking him for it.
Instead of subjecting you to reading that directly from Dobson, I’ve put together a visual representation of how Dobson imagines himself when he tells that story.
With the context in mind, let’s re-read the end of Helen’s Buggy.
“We began to understand the joy of giving, the joy of receiving.”
What Dobson sees in the story: “The joy of giving (corporal punishment), the joy of receiving (the fear in your children’s eyes.)”
So what does Helen’s Buggy have to do with the creation of Adventures in Odyssey? Well, after the publication of Dare to Discipline, Dobson made some big moves. In 1973 he “resigned from the American Psychological Association (APA) after it de-pathologized homosexuality by removing it from the APA’s list of mental disorders.” ⁵
(Dobson be like, “You haven't even seen 20% of my homophobia and racism.”)
He peaced out from his teaching and Children’s Hospital jobs in 1977 to found Focus on the Family, which quickly became a multimedia ministry. Dobson began broadcasting his own radio program and his in-person seminars were released on VHS to millions of viewers. His and Focus’ mission were to, “help persevere traditional values and the institution of the family.” ⁶
Despite that being a dog whistle so intense not even The Dog Police could handle it, this mission statement, along with Dare to Discipline and Dobson reading Helen’s Buggy every year, demonstrate why he and Focus were so successful. They intentionally strove to appear apolitical, at least initially, which drew in a much larger crowd who were mostly interested in Dobson’s child-rearing “tips.” No fire-and-brimstone here, just “traditional values” delivered in a folksy style. As much as I can clown on Helen’s Buggy, it’s not overly religious and is the perfect way to draw in new, lapsed, or non-fervent Christians. ⁷ This will be a key part of Adventures in Odyssey.
By 1983 Dobson had told Helen’s Buggy multiple years in a row. They needed to do something different, so instead that year’s Christmas radio broadcast would be an original dramatic program. One that, while geared toward adults instead of kids, is a clear “proto-pilot” for what would become AIO. ⁸
Spare Tire.
The drama centers on Adam and Jennifer, a husband and wife that bicker constantly as Christmas approaches. They’re forced to face their issues head on when a tire blows out during a snowstorm drive. Jennifer, ashamed, explains she took out the spare to hide her Christmas present for Adam. Adam explodes, berating her for doing such horrible things like… Cleaning.
(Audio: Spare Tire: Written by Dennis Shippy and Steve Harris, Focus on the Family)
Adam: “If I pull a pair of socks out of the drawer and drop one, it'll be in the washer before it hits the floor. Does that sound normal to you?”
Jennifer: “I’m just trying to help.”
Adam: “Your kind of help makes me crazy.”
It’s uncomfortable because it feels so real. Adam’s belittling remarks, Jennifer sobbing, it’s a powerhouse performance, especially thanks to D.J. Harner as Jennifer. This isn’t church parents putting on cringe-level skits for the Youth Group. It’s a riveting portrayal of a couple laying bare all the little things that represent bigger fractures in relationships.
Adam’s horrible but it seems like that’s the point, especially when Jennifer’s meager defenses break down and she reveals why she’s so obsessed with making the house perfect for him.
(Audio: Spare Tire: Written by Dennis Shippy and Steve Harris, Focus on the Family)
Jennifer: “Just what do I have to do to please you? I do everything I can to make things a little nicer for you and the kids. I work myself sick for you. ‘Yes, Adam. Whatever you want, Adam.’ But do you care? No. You even resent it. And since you got your big promotion... It's bad enough you're hardly ever home. But when you are, there's just no pleasing you. Nothing satisfies you. You won't even talk about it. I ask you what's wrong, and you say nothing. And then you either hide in the study or watch TV. Well, forget it. If you're so determined to be angry and miserable, you can just do it by yourself.”
You’d expect Adam to have an equally compelling reason why he’s closed himself off from Jennifer. A reason why he never talks to her. Something that will make us go, “oh, they BOTH need to work on themselves.” This is imperative because Jennifer’s confession paints her as being terrified of her husband. She goes on to shakily admit that she’s afraid even making one little mistake, like taking out the spare tire, will cause him to stop loving her. The episode needs to give Adam an equally powerful and reasonable fear. It won’t excuse his actions, but at least we’ll understand them.
He starts off well enough, recognizing that the little things Jennifer does that annoy him are actually her way of showing love. Instead of appreciating that he’s just yelled at her for it. This is good! A genuine admission of fault. The two have a back and forth that even lets Jennifer get a little jab in at Adam’s expense.
Adam: “But, you know, I've had some crazy moments myself.”
Jennifer: “Why no, Adam, not you. Whatever could you mean?”
Adam: “No, seriously. There were times I thought I'd lose you.”
Jennifer: “When?”
Adam: “Last summer. I got laid off. I was sure that if the bills piled up high enough, you'd take the kids and leave me.”
It’s easy to pick this apart. Oh, Adam, you silly man, you have so little faith in your wife you think she’d leave solely because you can’t provide for her at the moment? Yes, that’s there, but it’s honest. Adam having this level of an irrational fear could be the sign of deeper insecurities. Why is he so terrified of his wife leaving him? Does it speak to trauma growing up? A previous marriage? It’s not as intense as Jennifer’s fear of him but it’s something. Maybe Adam will learn to face this insecurity and change his ways to better appreciate what Jennifer-
(Audio: Spare Tire: Written by Dennis Shippy and Steve Harris, Focus on the Family)
Adam: “I know it sounds silly, but I had nightmares about you getting a job and running off with your boss.”
Jennifer: “Oh, get serious.”
Adam: “No, really. I mean it.”
Jennifer: “Really?”
Adam: “Yeah.”
…..
Jennifer’s response?
“You put up with all the pressure. You do it for me and the kids. That's your way of saying I love you.”
….
….
….
Let’s recap, shall we?
Jennifer does everything she can to please Adam to the point of making herself sick. She just wants him to talk to her. An extremely reasonable request!
Adam? Afraid Jennifer will get a job and sleep with her boss.
No.
No no no.
No no no no no no no no no.
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
I was willing to give Adam some empathy when he was only worried about Jennifer leaving. Abandonment is a thing! But taking it to the level of not only worrying she’d do the unspeakable sin of GETTING A JOB but also SLEEPING WITH HER BOSS?! It’s such an oddly specific fear, made all the worse because it’s treated to be on the same level of Jennifer’s fears.
They’re not the same. Jennifer already sacrifices herself day in and day out just to make things “a little nicer” while Adam works hard solely based on the fear his wife will POSSIBLY have to get a job and POSSIBLY sleep with her boss. It’s beyond ludicrous and denigrating to the real fears that women like Jennifer face.
Dobson had no direct creative involvement in Spare Tire but the DNA of the values he preached and sold is all over it.
“But wait,” I hear you say. “There’s nothing about beating your kids in here.”
Correct, because Dobson didn’t just write about how to become the highest class of child beater whose actions will scar children for centuries with strength absolute. He also had other topics which Focus on the Family could draw on. Such as 1975’s…
The most ‘70s thing imaginable.
(Photo: Front Cover of What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew About Women, Tyndale House Publishers, 1975)
The horrible exchange in Spare Tire was directly inspired from attitudes of this book, with observations from Dobson like...
“Almost half of the women in this country are currently employed and the totals are rising. My viewpoint on this national trend is not likely to win many admirers within certain circles, but I can't remain silent on so important a topic. In short, I believe that this abandonment of the home is our gravest and most dangerous mistake as a nation!” ⁹
“Men derive self-esteem by being respected; women feel worthy when they are loved. This may be the most important personality distinction between the sexes.” ¹⁰
The reason Adam’s afraid of his wife getting a job and leaving him for a theoretical boss? It’s the ultimate sign of disrespect. The reason Jennifer just wants Adam to talk to her? She needs to be loved. Again, these are portrayed as being of equal value. What Dobson is really saying here though may as well be, “men are from Mars, women are from Venus, amirite fellas?”
It also implies that women don’t need to be respected and men don’t need affection. The book lays out all kinds of scenarios for how women can best handle their husbands which I will spare you having to directly read and instead summarize as:
Woman: I am having trouble with my husband who never listens to me.
Dobson: You are a nag. Select the best time when your husband is “most pleasant” and then talk to him.
Woman: Okay. -waits awhile- Husband, I would like you to love me romantically.
Man: Okay but only if you don't “foreclose” on my sexual appetite.
Dobson, a man, claims to have all the answers for women on how to make men understand their needs. What’s sad is that, while I hate every ounce of this book, to the Average American Citizen at the time? I can see why it would work. Take this passage, for example.
“It is true, I believe, that too many men do not understand the emotional needs of their wives. They live in a vastly different world with ample frustrations of their own. Either they are unable to put themselves in a woman's place, seeing and feeling what she experiences, or else they are preoccupied with their own work and simply aren't listening. For whatever reason, women have needs which men do not comprehend.” ¹¹
On the surface he’s saying that men don’t often listen to their wives or understand their needs, which, yeah, true! But as we’ve already seen, his solutions are horrendous and, it must be said a thousand times, HE IS A MAN CLAIMING TO KNOW WHAT WOMEN WANT.
Dobson in his natural habitat, talking over a woman.
(Photo: From Cover of Dr. Dobson Answers Your Questions About Confident Healthy Families, Tyndale House Publishers, 1982)
But much like his lectures, he delivers it all in a folksy style with sly little jokes and winks to the audience, such as,
“The reason the average woman would rather have beauty than brains is because she knows the average man can see better than he can think. (No offense intended, gentlemen.)” ¹²
It’s personable and draws you in just enough that it makes you more likely to consider the nuclear grade nonsense like this as “wisdom,”
“A third source of low self-esteem among American women relates to basic intelligence. Simply stated, they feel dumb and stupid. Psychologists have known for decades that there is no fundamental difference in the overall level of intelligence between men and women... Despite this fact, women are much more inclined to doubt their own mental capacity than are men. Why? I don't know, but it is a very important factor in low self-esteem.” ¹³
Why do women have low self-esteem compared to men? IT’S A MYSTERY.
(Somebody add that to the great mysteries of life from the opening theme of The Adventures of Mary-Kate & Ashley.)
The answer to all this is, of course, misogyny, but that would involve addressing feminism and Dobson refuses to do that. Besides, you know, painting a straw “avant-garde feminist” he supposedly met on a talk show about self esteem in women. A feminist who wore “a large bronze medallion with a clenched fist thrust upward into the traditional symbol for female” and propagated a hatred of men solely for financial reasons.
Dobson’s ultimate solution to women unites with his Dare to Discipline thesis. Low self-esteem among women can be linked with childhood.
“The human mind constantly searches and gropes for evidence of its own worthiness. Thus, childhood inferiority imposes itself on mental apparatus for decades to come.” ¹⁴
The solution to low self-esteem derived from feeling unloved and disrespected in children? Say it with Dobson now. BEAT THEM. Dobson’s work is a cinematic-universe where the endgame is always, “beat your kids.”
But what should a woman do if her husband isn’t able to be what she wants him to be? Don’t worry, Dobson has some things that could be called words for that!
“The first principle of mental health is to accept that which cannot be changed. You could easily go to pieces over the adverse circumstances beyond your control, but you can also resolve to withstand them. You can will to hang tough, or you can yield to cowardice. Depression is often evidence of emotional surrender.” ¹⁵
To quote my own notes as I read this,
“-I HATE THAT SO MUCH I WANT TO SCREAM. IT IS MONSTROUS AND MAKES ME LEGIT SHAKE WITH RAGE INSIDE. Everything about it. Just… “ACCEPT IT IF IT’S SHIT?!” FUCK OFF. And those last two sentences ESPECIALLY? FUCK ALL THE WAY OFF.”
Of course, Dobson loved Spare Tire and requested more dramas which finally came to pass in 1985 with House Guest. Adam and Jennifer return and the plot can be summed up as “my wife’s dad almost died but she’s such a nag when she implores him to take steps to avoid almost dying again.”
Compared to Spare Tire it’s whatever, though it does bring in Hal Smith (known for his roles as Otis in The Andy Griffith Show and the voices of Winnie the Pooh and Owl) as Jennifer’s father, setting the stage for Smith’s major involvement in AIO.
1986’s Gone Fishing features new characters and thankfully doesn’t have anywhere near as much misogyny, largely because it only features two men. Larry quits his job, buys some fancy fishing equipment, and gets some sage life advice from the elderly Bert.
Like the two specials before it, Gone Fishing features little “god content.” It only has mentions of “praying together” and “being with the Lord” when Bert explains to Larry how he wants to be surrounded by his family when he dies. The drama instead is more concerned with themes of futility. Larry quit his job because of how empty it felt.
(Audio: Gone Fishing: Written by Steve Harris, Focus on the Family)
Bert: You've got a lot of good years left.
Larry: Yeah, but what am I doing with them? I've been working nights, weekends, trying to get ahead. And lately, I haven't been all that sure what direction ahead is. I mean, what's the point? What kind of career is this for an adult? I mean, can you imagine a bunch of grown men sitting around a table arguing about what a dog food package should look like? I mean, do you know that there are actually people who get paid for making up names like Mighty Dog and Mop and Glow? I mean, could you imagine coming to the end of your life and the only thing you have to show for it is the fact that you invented the Tidy Bowl Man?
As someone who’s worked way too many marketing jobs in his life? This got me. I felt it. Coming up with slogans, catchphrases, and all manner of other nonsense? It does start to feel pointless and soul sucking. The performance is made all the better by Larry not delivering this with rage but instead dark humor. You can feel the despair but he can’t help but laugh at the horror of it all. Even better is Bert’s legit sage wisdom.
(Audio: Gone Fishing: Written by Steve Harris, Focus on the Family)
Bert: Get your eyes off yourself and take a look at this thing for a minute. You know what your problem is, boy? You live like you fish. You got all the accessories, all the paraphernalia, the best of everything and everything you need. Then it takes you a year to even get the line wet. Sooner or later, you've got to stop getting ready and start doing. Stop feeling frustrated and start enjoying. Otherwise, before you know it, you're gonna look around and it'll be too late. Hear me out, boy. Does it make sense for a man to throw away his whole life just ‘cause the days are passing a little quicker than he’d like? Or because he doesn't have the job he wants? Or doesn't make as much money as he wants? Believe me, son, when you get old and feeble like me, you’ll find out it wasn't worth all the fuss.”
It’s easy to point out all the “logical” reasons this advice can’t be implemented, especially in 2024. But no, dammit, this rules. I hate how much this rules. ESPECIALLY in 2024. It’s so easy to get obsessed with doing things “right” in life.
It can be a hobby where you spend more time researching the “correct” way to have fun instead of just doing it and making mistakes. It can be working toward a dream job where anything less than getting it is deemed a failure. It can be never allowing yourself happiness and always being on the defensive, wracked with fear about when it’ll all go to hell.
Yes, it’s trademark Dobson-style folksy advice. Yes, it’s part of a coordinated effort to suck people into the Focus Funnel of Faith. Yes, it’s all to serve a greater evil purpose, but damn if it isn’t well-produced evil. It hits! It’s great advice, delivered with some heartfelt writing and killer performances. It speaks, despite the many problems, to why these episodes, and the series that followed, were and are so successful.
Look, if everything related to AIO was just dreck? There’d be no point in doing this blog. A big part of this deep dive into AIO is understanding why it’s one of the most successful radio media franchises of all time and what it does with that in the long run.
Around the time of Gone Fishing’s production, Dobson interviewed Bruce Wilkinson from the “Walk Through the Bible” organization. As recalled in The Complete Guide to Adventures in Odyssey,
“The theme of the program was media influence in our society. After the interview, Mr. Wilkinson told Dr. Dobson that it isn’t enough for Christians to simply decry the lousy programming on television and radio-they also need to produce high-quality alternative programming. Soon thereafter, Dr. Dobson gave the marching orders: Launch into drama full force.” ¹⁶
Even though Dobson wouldn’t be involved in the day-to-day operation of this new radio series, his influence continued to loom large. And it got to do an episode about the value of beating your kids!
…
Of course.
Note: There’s so much about Dobson I couldn’t get into here. If you want more comprehensive deep dives I highly recommend Fundie Fridays’ episode on the topic along with Behind the Bastards’ two-parter podcast on him.
WORKS CITED
Dare to Discipline by James Dobson, Tyndale House Publishers, 1970
(1) Page 27
(2) Page 29
(3) Page 33
(4) Page 30
Practicing What the Doctor Preached: At Home with Focus on the Family by Susan B. Ridgely, Oxford University Press, 2017
(5) Page 29
(6) Page 30
Jesus and John Wayne: How White Evangelicals Corrupted a Faith and Fractured a Nation by Kristin Kobes Du Mez, Liveright Publishing Corporation, 2021
(7) Page 89
The Complete Guide to Adventures in Odyssey by Phil Lollar, Focus on the Family Publishing, 1997
(8) Page 2
(16) Page 3
What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew About Women by James Dobson, Tyndale House Publishers, 1980
(9) Page 55
(10) Page 64
(11) Page 13
(12) Page 28
(13) Page 27
(14) Page 28
(15) Page 183